The Power of ‘No’
Sunday, March 9th, 2008
Do you sometimes find it hard to say no? If no, then you are lucky.
Sometimes
people ask me to do them a favour. And when that happens, most of the
time I accept it willingly. Even though deep in my heart I do not
really want to do it, I usually end up saying yes, "Umm, all right, I’ll do it for you." And even though I manage to say no, which means I really don’t want to do it, it requires much energy and vigour, making it an arduous effort to do such. Occasionally, I apologise for that no.
I do realise it’s not good to be too nice. Some people may even exploit persons who suffer from that kind of mental illness. I have learned that I hurt
feelings less by saying no. If I say yes out of obligation, I am
unhappy and maybe don’t do as good of a job, or even worse that when
there is one little complaint, I may explode, "How dare you! You are so
ungrateful. I didn’t want to help you in the first place, now you
complain about the job I did!"
Experience has taught me that a
simple and honest ‘I don’t have time to do that right now’ saves
friendships better than doing things half-heartedly.
The good book says "Give with a glad heart". To me that means don’t
give and be grumpy about it. If I can’t give gladly, everyone is better
off if I just say no.
As revolutionary as it may sound, we are allowed to disappoint others without having to justify ourselves: ‘Right now, this is how I feel’ or ‘Right now, this is what I intend to do (or not do).’
And, all right, I’m still learning to do it.. 
-Fixy7
